


Locking It Down During Lockdown

by supernatural9917



Series: Lockdown [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dean Winchester Has Self-Esteem Issues, Dean Winchester Wears Panties, Fluff, Jealous Castiel (Supernatural), Light Angst, M/M, Past Benny Lafitte/Dean Winchester, Professor Castiel (Supernatural), Quarantine, Writer Dean Winchester, lockdown - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-16 01:20:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29445462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/supernatural9917/pseuds/supernatural9917
Summary: Things start to get a bit more real as the world starts to open up. Will their newly rekindled love stand up to the test?Spoiler alert: Of course it will.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Series: Lockdown [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2068851
Comments: 5
Kudos: 50





	Locking It Down During Lockdown

**Author's Note:**

> I can't believe this is my 100th posted fic for Supernatural. Not even the worst finale of all time can make me stop thinking about these two, and if anything has made me more determined to give them all the happy endings they deserved. I know I just posted something yesterday, but I couldn't help having something for Valentine's Day, aka #DeanCasWedding Day, and it felt right to make my 100th post pure Destiel. My next fic will be for Destiny Bang, and although they're my OT3, it just seemed right to make this about Dean and Cas. Hope you enjoy!

'That's all we got,' Dean said, indicating the paltry selection of ingredients from Cas's cupboards and fridge: an onion, two cloves of garlic, a can of chopped tomatoes, half a bag of macaroni, a small piece of cheddar, and a couple of hot dogs. 'I can rustle up some kinda macaroni casserole thing for tonight, but then we're completely out of food.'

'Honestly, I'm amazed it's lasted this long considering there are two of us. You're a genius in the kitchen to have stretched it out so far.'

Dean grinned at the compliment, his cheeks a bit pink. 'I'm used to it after trying to feed Sammy growing up.'

'While I hate that you had to learn those skills because of your unfortunate upbringing, I'm grateful for their existence.' As a reward, he pulled Dean into his arms and kissed him soundly. 'While macaroni casserole sounds good, we should go shopping. I don't have any lectures today, so we can go anytime. Hopefully it'll be relatively empty in the middle of a weekday.'

'Cool, I'll make a list.' Dean went off to plan their shopping trip while Cas put the ingredients back where they'd come from for later preparation. He couldn't help but muse at the drastic changes in his life in the two weeks since Dean had appeared at his door. 

There was the amazing sex of course; he'd had more of it in two weeks than he'd probably had in the two years before them, and rediscovering Dean's body had been an entirely new kind of magic compared to the passion they'd shared in their early twenties. The food was also a nice benefit; Dean was an excellent cook, and since he had not only greater skill but also a more flexible schedule with his writing, he made most of their meals. Sharing homemade food while they talked, watched TV or even just sat in companionable silence was a wonderful change from all the nights he'd spent alone in his little house since moving to Lawrence.

And that was the best part, really: not being alone anymore. For so many years he had felt alone even in company, even with a partner he cared about, because nobody could replace Dean. Now Dean was here, and Cas finally felt whole. He kept waiting for the other shoe to drop- he knew it had only been two weeks, and they were in a weird bubble caused by lockdown, but on the other hand, they were together pretty much 24/7 and still hadn't gotten sick of each other.

Cas was pretty sure he'd never get sick of Dean.

'OK, got a list!' Dean waved a piece of paper with what looked like a pretty long list. 'Should keep us going for a while.'

'Let's go then.' Cas gathered up his reusable shopping bags, and they climbed into Baby for the short drive to the grocery store. As they hadn't gone anywhere since Dean's arrival, this was Cas's first time in the Impala in nearly a decade, and he ran his hands along the bench seat appreciatively. 'She still looks incredible, Dean.'

'Course she does. Nothin' but the best for my girl.'

A few minutes later, they pulled into the parking lot of the supermarket, pleased to find that they were right about the lack of people at this time of day. They put on their masks, Dean grabbed a cart, and they started making their way down the aisles checking items off their list as they went.

'Where's the freakin' ranch?' Dean muttered as he eyed up the condiments section.

'Oh, salad dressings are in the next aisle, I'll go grab it.' Cas went around the corner to where the vast array of salad dressings had their own section. Before he could pick one up, he heard Dean talk to someone.

'Sorry dude, am I in your way?'

'Naw, you're fine. Wait- Dean?'

'Benny! Dude, how's it going? I'd hug you, but, you know.' Cas felt his heart beat faster. Benny was the man Dean had dated after he'd come out of the closet, and although that had been nearly a year ago, he couldn't help feeling a stab of jealousy. He knew it was dubious to eavesdrop, but sue him, he was curious. 'How you been anyway? Haven't seen you since all this started, is the diner doing OK?'

'Yeah, we switched to all carry-out and delivery pretty early on and we're doing better than ever. Had to hire another delivery guy.' Dammit, Benny had a really hot accent.

'That's great!'

'Can't complain. How 'bout you, chief? How's lockdown treatin' ya?'

'It didn't start so good, but man, over the last month it completely changed my life. I'm livin' the dream.' That made Cas smile.

'Wow. What happened?'

'You remember me talking about Cas?'

'The California guy?'

'Yep. I emailed him to apologise for what happened back in the day, and turns out he's a big-shot professor at KU now.' That was a bit of an exaggeration, but Cas let it slide.

'So you guys are talkin' again?'

'Even better. He took me back. We're together now.' Cas couldn't see him, but he could hear the smile in Dean's voice, the pride.

'Holy shit, man! Congrats!'

'Thanks. It's pretty awesome.' 

Cas decided it was time to rejoin his boyfriend, so he picked up two different bottles of ranch dressing and rounded the aisle. 'Dean, which of these would you- oh, hello.'

'Hey sweetheart. This is my buddy Benny I told you about. Benny, Cas.'

'Nice to meet you, Cas. Heard a lot about ya.'

'Likewise.'

'So what are you guys doin' on this side of town? Ain't your house out near the lake?'

'Yeah, Cas lives nearby, I've been staying with him the last couple weeks.'

'Well maybe I'll see you guys around again. And stop by the diner some time, I'll get you some jambalaya to go.'

'Awesome, man, good to see ya. Tell Andrea I said hi.'

'Will do, brother. Nice to see ya, and nice to meet ya, Cas.'

'You too, Benny. Stay safe.' Benny saluted them and headed off to the checkouts. 

'So that was Benny,' Dean said as he plucked the ranch dressing he wanted from Cas's hand. 'I'd forgotten he lived on this side of town.'

'He seemed very nice.'

'He's a good guy. And his jambalaya is to freakin' die for, we should definitely get some carry-out from his diner.'

'Sounds good. Is Andrea his business partner?'

'Girlfriend.' Cas hummed in acknowledgement, hoping that his relief didn't come through, but Dean was onto him. 'Cas… were you jealous?' he asked teasingly.

'Maybe a little,' Cas admitted. 'He was the first man you were openly in a relationship with, after all.'

'Well he wasn't you. And we're better as friends, it was over a long time ago.'

'I know. I just can't help being a bit jealous of everyone who got to spend time with you while we were apart.'

Dean put his arm around Cas's shoulders and booped their heads together since he couldn't kiss him with a mask on. 'Ditto. Now come on, let's finish this up so we can get back home and fu...eed Hannah,' Dean corrected himself when he realised they were passing a mother with two small children.

'Oh yes, we should get some treats for her too. This is probably the longest she's been alone since lockdown started.'

When they got home, Hannah made her feelings on this abandonment very clear with protracted meowing and jumping on the countertop to interfere with the putting away of groceries. Dean insisted that Cas take her to the living room to console her with pats while he sorted out the kitchen and made lunch.

By the time the macaroni casserole was plated up, Hannah had been satisfied with Cas’s thorough apology and sauntered off to nap in her favourite spot by the window. Dean didn’t bother to set the table, just came over to the couch and handed Cas his bowl. They ate in comfortable silence except for Cas telling Dean how impressed he was by the tastiness of such a simple dish. When they’d finished, he stood up to take the bowls to the kitchen, but Dean took them from his hands and set them on the coffee table.

‘So I was thinking,’ he began, and Cas’s heart began to race as every negative possibility for Dean’s next words flooded his brain. ‘You haven’t seen my house yet.’

‘Oh,’ Cas sagged with relief. ‘No, I’ve only seen the street view picture.’

‘Would you wanna maybe go see it soon? I could check my mail and just make sure everything’s good with the heating and stuff. Or we could even stay there for a bit, bring Hannah and see how she likes it.’ He looked shy about his request, like he expected Cas to say no.

‘That sounds great, Dean. It would be nice to have a change of scenery. When do you want to go?’

‘Whenever you want. I have good internet, you could do your lectures from there, and we can take the food we just bought with us.’

‘Why don’t we pack up and just go now then? I’d love to see it, and we might as well take advantage of the fact that I have the rest of the day free.’

Dean smiled brightly. ‘Yeah? You don’t mind?’

Cas kissed him. ‘Let’s do our personal stuff first, and then I’ll get Hannah’s things while you do the food.’

Within half an hour they had their bags, supplies, and a slightly grumpy Hannah in her carrier ready to go. Dean lived only fifteen minutes away, but the neighbourhood was quite different, with much bigger family homes and lawns in a more suburban environment. Dean’s house was beautiful, freshly painted with a tidy lawn and flower beds against the house. He clicked his garage door opener and the two-car garage opened up, with one half looking a bit like a workshop and the other half cleared for Baby.

‘Home sweet home,’ Dean grinned. ‘Let’s get this food put away and I’ll give you the tour.’ The door from the garage opened into a utility room with a washer and dryer, and that led to the spacious kitchen that looked straight out of a home magazine. Dean put the fresh ingredients into the huge fridge and left the rest on the counter while Cas opened Hannah's carrier to let her explore. ‘Come on.’ He took Cas’s hand and led him to the next room, which was a spacious open plan living/dining room. 

‘Dean, this is beautiful!’

‘Thanks. I made it all open-plan like this, there used to be a wall here. Luckily not load-bearing. I just like the space, you know?’

‘I see why.’ The room was painted a very light yellow, making it feel bright and warm, and much of the living area was taken up by an enormous sectional sofa and a huge TV. A rectangular table and four chairs sat in front of an antique-looking china cabinet in the dining area, and sliding doors opened out to the backyard deck and its impressive-looking grill. Cas was surprised to see an in-ground pool shimmering beyond it. 'Wow! I wish I'd brought my swimsuit.'

'Fences are six feet high, sweetheart, you don't need one,' Dean said with a leer and a wink. 'Come on, grab your stuff so we can put it upstairs and I'll give you the rest of the tour.' There was a half-bath next to the stairs, and a full bathroom at the top with a big showerhead over a tub. A guest bedroom and an office were on either side of it, and then Dean led him to the master bedroom. 'So we got a walk-in closet, king size memory foam, and…' They dropped their bags and Dean tugged them towards the bathroom. 'Ta da!'

Cas gasped at the stunning room. A jacuzzi bathtub big enough for two filled the corner, while an even bigger shower cubicle with multiple showerheads and a built-in bench took up much of the rest of the room. A toilet, sink and storage unit filled out the rest. 'Oh my god.'

'Yep. It's awesome. We can test it out later if you want. One more thing to see.' Dean dragged him back down the stairs and opened another door that led down to the basement. He flipped on the light switch and brought Cas halfway down the stairs.

'Whoa!' The basement was finished, with its own half-bath, a pool table, an entertainment system with several games consoles and another office nook in the corner.

'And that's it,' Dean announced with a shrug. 'What do you think?'

‘Dean, I… this house is incredible. I don’t think I’ve ever been in such a warm, comfortable, beautiful home. I can see why you’ve been hesitant to sell it. I’m not sure I could bear to part with it if I were in your position.’

Dean blushed deeply, a pleased smile growing on his face. ‘You mean it?’

‘Of course. I love it.’

‘So, um… do you think you might be interested in living in it?’ 

‘Living in it?’

‘I know we haven’t really talked about the future except that we want to be together, but I was thinking about how you said you wanted to buy a place eventually ‘cause renting sucks, and I thought, well I got this house free and clear, all paid off with my dad’s life insurance, so it kinda seems like a waste to buy a place or keep renting when maybe we could just live here together.’

Cas’s eyes widened. ‘Are you asking me to move in with you permanently?’

Dean’s blush grew deeper. ‘Yeah, I mean, it would save you a lot of money, the bills are probably higher ‘cause it’s a bigger house, but I made it really efficient so maybe not that much more, but no rent or mortgage. And it doesn’t have to be right away, we can wait a little while, I’m probably crazy for bringing it up now, you probably haven’t even thought about-‘

‘I want to.’

‘You do?’

‘Very much. Not for financial reasons, although I’ll admit those are attractive. But I’m also mindful of what Sam said.’

‘Right. Yeah. Reasonable.’

‘How about we spend a couple of weeks here to match the time we were at my place and then see how we’re feeling?’

Dean smiled and took Cas’s hands to kiss them. ‘Sounds awesome.’

'Good. Now about that bathtub…'

**********

By the end of the agreed two weeks at Dean's house, they made the move more official. Cas decided not to give notice to his landlord yet, still keeping in mind Sam's advice, but they moved most of his clothes, his car, and Hannah's things over. Hannah was delighted, as Dean's house had way more sunny spots for naps and a bigger yard for watching birds. Cas got himself properly set up to do his teaching in the upstairs office, while Dean did his writing in the basement setup. 

When things started really opening up again, they had been blissfully cohabiting for a month. Their first proper date was to Dean's favourite dive bar, The Roadhouse, which also happened to serve the best burgers outside of his own kitchen. He couldn't hug Ellen, Jo and Ash like he wanted to, but he could at least introduce them to the love of his life, and even though he couldn't see their smiles behind their masks, he could see their happiness for him in their eyes. After dinner, he drove Cas out to the lake and they made out in the backseat of the Impala for hours. They both agreed it was the best date ever, and looked forward to even better ones now that they could actually go out again.

It quickly became obvious, though, that people were idiots, and the infection numbers started going up again, so they gave up on dates out in favour of spending time in the pool (Dean had been right about the fence), grilling out, and cuddling on the big couch in front of Netflix. Dean finished a book, his steamiest yet, which had been extensively tested for realism with Cas as a very willing guinea pig. 

As the fall semester approached and the university started talking about restarting face-to-face teaching, Cas got increasingly stressed. There was ever-changing information coming from all sides about whether he'd have to go back to campus and he was constantly on work Zoom meetings and phone calls behind closed doors. Dean tried to give him space at those times, but sometimes there were angry disagreements and raised voices that would have him aching to give Cas comfort while he dealt with his difficult colleagues. All he could really do was leave a thermos of coffee and snacks by the door for when Cas finally managed to get a break.

He was just dropping off one such comfort delivery when he heard Cas yell, 'Well Marv, just because  _ you _ don't have anyone you care about passing a deadly disease to doesn't mean the rest of us are as pathetic. My classes can all be done perfectly well online, and I'm not going to risk bringing COVID home to my partner just because  _ you _ can't be bothered to figure out how to use technology effectively! I will not be teaching on campus, and if you don't like it, you can take it up with the union!' Dean cringed at the sound of the laptop being slammed shut and only just managed to step out of the way when Cas came storming out of the room. He stopped short when he saw Dean standing there.

'Oh. Hello, Dean.' 

'Hey. Um, brought you some stuff.'

'Thank you.' He took the thermos and plate awkwardly. 'I take it you heard my outburst?'

'Little bit. That Marv guy sounds like a dick.'

'He's the world's biggest dick, which is ironic, as I'm pretty sure his actual dick is the smallest.' Dean snorted, and he was happy to see a tiny smile from Cas. 'But I shouldn't have lost my temper. I'll need to call the union rep.'

'I'm sorry, sweetheart. You don't have to worry about me, you know. If you need to teach on campus, I'll be OK.'

Cas frowned. 'I don't want to risk exposing you when it's completely pointless for me to be on campus.'

'I get it, totally, but if they do make you, we can deal.'

'If they make me, I'd rather go stay by myself at my old place.'

Dean's face crumpled. 'What? Why?'

'So that I'm not bringing fucking coronavirus home to you, Dean!'

'Don't I get a say in this?'

'No. It's not up for discussion.'

'So you'll just hole up alone for four months?'

'I'll have Hannah.'

Dean scoffed. 'Oh, OK. So  _ I'll _ be by myself for four months. That sounds  _ awesome _ .'

'It's better than getting sick!'

'Pretty sure that's not true.'

'I will not risk your health, Dean. I'm going to fight to keep working from home, but if I can't, I won't stay here.' With that declaration, he turned on his heel and walked back into the office, kicking the door shut behind himself.

And there went their first fight. Dean buried his head in his hands. 'Fuck.'

**********

Dean should have known this would happen. He knew he'd fuck everything up. 

Cas had refused to discuss their fight when he'd finally come to bed. Although he hadn't said that it was over between them, the evidence was there when Dean woke up in the morning: the bed was empty and both Cas and Hannah were gone. 

His clothes were still in Dean’s closet and drawers, but taking those out would have woken Dean up, so obviously he left them for later. The laptop bag was gone, though, which was the only really important inanimate object he’d brought to Dean’s house. Hell, maybe he wasn’t even going to come back for the clothes, considering them a fair loss for getting away from Dean as fast as possible.

Dean moped his way through making coffee and forcing down a bowl of cereal. He couldn’t bring himself to take a shower, not wanting to wash the last traces of Cas off his skin just yet. That could wait another day.

He was trying to decide if he should eat some real food for lunch or just go straight for ice cream when he was startled by the front door opening.

‘Dean?’ Cas called out, and Dean’s heart stopped.

‘Cas?’ He ran to the entryway, where Cas was taking off his shoes. Hannah’s carrier and his laptop bag were on the floor beside him.

‘Hey, sorry I’m later than I said, there was an emergency at the vet and I had to wait longer than expected.’

‘Vet?’ Dean stood gaping, only sure that he wasn’t imagining this because it was simultaneously too mundane and too bizarre for his brain to come up with.

‘Yes, the vet. Hannah was behaving oddly at the litter box, and turns out she has an infection. They've given her antibiotics and she should be good as new in a few days.’ He smiled as he opened the carrier; Hannah climbed out and made a beeline for Dean, immediately rubbing her head against his shin and demanding pets.

Dean let out a strange noise somewhere between a laugh and sob, dropping to the floor to take Hannah in his arms. ‘Thank fuck.’

‘It was just a minor UTI, Dean, nothing serious,’ Cas assured him, confused at Dean’s strong reaction. Hannah hadn’t wanted quite this level of attention and wriggled her way free to go investigate her food bowl.

‘No, I… fuck, Cas, I woke up and you were gone.’ His tear-streaked face made Cas run over and join him on the floor, wrapping Dean in his arms.

‘You thought I had left you?’

‘You took Hannah and your laptop.’

‘And I left a note,’ Cas added softly. 'You were sleeping so soundly, I didn’t want to disturb you, so I wrote you a note to say I’d be back by eleven.’

‘I didn’t find a note.’

‘Come on, let’s go look.’ He stood up and pulled Dean’s hand to help him to his feet. They went to the bedroom, and Cas frowned when he looked at the nightstand. ‘I left it here, but it’s not there now.’ He got on his knees by the bed and said, ‘Aha!’ as he reached just under the edge of it. ‘It must have fallen off.’ He reached up with a piece of paper and Dean took it.

_ Didn’t want to wake you, have to take Hannah to the vet. Should be back by 11. Love you ❤️ _

‘Oh.’ Dean felt like a complete fucking moron.

‘You could have texted me,’ Cas said gently. ‘I had my phone with me.’

‘I wasn’t thinking straight,’ Dean admitted. ‘I guess I panicked.’

Cas grabbed Dean’s shoulders and looked at him pointedly. ‘I know we had a disagreement yesterday, but have I given you any reason to think that I would just leave you without a word in the middle of the night?’

‘No,’ Dean mumbled.

‘Then what made you jump to that conclusion?’

Dean started crying again. ‘It’s all too good to be true, Cas! How could you forgive me, much less take me back? It’s only a matter of time before you realise I’m not worth it. You would’ve realised it back then if I hadn’t left first. I was always on borrowed time.’

Cas recoiled as if he’d been slapped. ‘You really think so little of me?’

‘What? No! You’re the best, I’m the one who’s shit.’

‘You seem to think that I don’t know my own mind or my own heart. That you’ve, what, fooled me into loving you and I’m just slow to figure it out?’

‘No, that’s not-‘

‘Maybe you think I’m a fool for forgiving you, and an even bigger fool for taking you back.’

‘No! It’s not you-‘

‘If you finish that sentence with the words "it’s me", I swear to god,’ Cas growled, crowding Dean almost to the bedroom wall. ‘How dare you assume my love is so paltry and fickle. I haven’t loved anybody but you in my entire life. You should show me some respect.’

Dean swallowed hard. ‘Fuck,’ he rasped, and grabbed Cas's shirt to pull him into a desperate kiss. 'Fuck, Cas, you're so hot.'

Cas pulled back and squinted at Dean, tilting his head in confusion. 'What?'

'Sorry, I know you're mad at me, it's just… you're really hot when you're angry.'

Cas closed what little space there was between them, pushing himself flush against Dean's body until Dean's back hit the wall and boxing him in with his arms. 'You are the most infuriating man I have ever met.'

Dean licked his lips with a combination of nervousness and arousal. 'But, like… in a cute way, right?'

'Yes,' Cas sighed, 'in a very cute way. You're infuriatingly endearing and I constantly want to kiss your stupid, handsome face.'

'Well, why don't you then?'

Cas stepped back with an even bigger sigh. 'Because if I start, I won't stop, and I have to teach in a few minutes.' His expression softened and he cupped Dean's face with his hand. 'But after I'm done we'll talk some more about what happened this morning and yesterday. I realise that not resolving our disagreement contributed to your anxiety and we should work that out too.' 

Dean nuzzled against Cas's hand. 'OK. Go get ready, I'll bring your coffee in a bit.'

'That would be great. I have to send some emails before my class, can you please bring it inside in case I don't have time to come out to grab it?'

'Of course, sunshine.'

While Cas got himself set up, Dean went back to the kitchen to make more coffee. He figured that Cas probably hadn't had time for lunch, so he also made a PB&J and washed an apple while the coffee brewed.

Cas was typing away when he came upstairs with the plate and mug, so Dean just set them down next to him and kissed the top of his head. 'Here you go, sweetheart.' Cas froze.

'Whoa, Dr Novak, is that your boyfriend? He's hot!' came a young woman's voice from the screen, and that's when Dean realised that Cas's lecture had already started.

'Aw, did he bring you lunch? That's so sweet!' said another student. Cas was blushing furiously, but Dean could tell from his little smile that he wasn't upset.

'Uh, sorry to interrupt,' he said, waving at the half dozen mostly female students on the screen. 'I'll let you guys get back to it.'

'Bye Dr Novak's boyfriend!' the first girl said cheerfully. 'Come back anytime!'

He waved again and looked down at Cas sheepishly. 'Sorry,' he whispered.

Cas smiled and squeezed his hand. 'Thanks for lunch, my love.' A chorus of awws emanated from the laptop speakers as Dean left the room. 'OK, OK, settle down,' he heard Cas say, but he suspected that his students wouldn't let him focus on the lecture topic any time soon.

An hour later, Cas flopped next to him on the couch and rested his head on Dean's shoulder. 'Rough class?'

'They kept asking me very intrusive questions about you and the future of our relationship.'

'What did you tell 'em?'

'That it was none of their business, but they shouldn't be surprised if they saw you again.'

'Stickin' around, then?' Dean aimed for teasing, but missed the mark by a mile and landed closer to self-conscious desperation.

'Which leads us into that conversation about this morning.' Cas straddled Dean's lap and held his face in both hands. 'I know who you are, Dean Winchester. I know who you are, and I love you. Not despite who you are, but  _ because _ of it. I'm not here because I'm unaware of your flaws, or because I pity you, or because I have some misplaced nostalgia about our youth. I'm here because I need you, but also because I want you. Daddy issues, self-loathing, the shittiest excuse for self-esteem that has ever existed-'

'Hey!'

'I know all about it and it doesn't make me want you any less. If something you do bothers me, I'll talk to you about it like an adult, and I'll expect you to do the same.' He raised one eyebrow and gave Dean a look that pierced his very soul. 'Understood?'

Dean was only human. Cas was straddling his lap, being all gorgeous and mature and kind of dominating and doing the eyebrow thing. It was only natural for Dean to pop a boner and reply with a breathy, 'Yes sir.' He was pretty sure that anybody would have reacted exactly the same way.

Of course Cas noticed. He rolled his hips to rub against Dean's lap, smirking knowingly as he leaned in to whisper in Dean's ear, 'Good boy.'

'Fuck,' Dean gasped. 'When's your next lecture?'

'We have time.'

**********

Cas more or less won the battle against Marv: the department let individual faculty members decide themselves whether to do in-person, hybrid or all-online teaching, so Cas obviously chose all-online. Dean was beyond relieved; after three months with Cas, he wasn't sure he'd survive being separated from him again. Scratch that- he  _ knew _ he wouldn't. 

Which was why he got really nervous a few days into the fall semester when Cas spent an entire week acting really squirrely. He hadn't needed to teach in person, but he had occasionally gone to his office and old house a few times to pick up some books and things he needed to be completely set up at Dean's. This particular week, he'd been out almost every day after his lectures finished and hadn't come home until dinner time.

Dean tried to talk himself down, reminding himself about how stupid he'd felt after his panic when Cas had only gone to the vet, but by Friday he couldn't take it anymore. As soon as Cas walked in, Dean confronted him.

'What's going on?'

'Hello to you too, Dean,' Cas said dryly, setting down the two boxes and backpack he was carrying and flopping onto the couch. 'What's for dinner?'

Dean huffed and threw his hands up. 'Cas, I'm trying really hard not to freak out here, but you've been acting really secretive all week and I'm getting worried.'

Cas immediately stood up and wrapped him in a hug. 'Oh Dean, I'm so sorry, I wasn't thinking. I thought it was obvious that I was bringing my stuff here in batches.'

'Yeah, I know you've been getting your office better set up with your books or whatever, but sometimes you've been gone for hours!'

'I had hoped to surprise you, but I should have realised that it would look odd to you. I haven't just been moving my books. I've been emptying my old house and getting it ready to hand back to my landlord.'

'You… what?'

Cas smiled a bit uncertainly. 'I think things between us are going well, and since I don't need to self-isolate, it seems like a waste to keep an empty house. So I thought I could hand in my notice on it and move in fully.' Dean stood there with his mouth open like an idiot, trying to process what Cas was saying. His brain had been so prepared to hear something negative that he felt like he barely understood what was going on. The longer he was silent, the more uncomfortable Cas looked. 'Of course, I don't have to do it now. If you're not ready for that, I can hold onto it for-'

'I'm ready,' Dean interrupted as his brain finally came back online. 'Jesus, Cas, I'm so ready. I was ready on day one. Hell, I'd marry you right now if I could.'

Cas's eyes grew wide. 'You would?'

'Since day one,' he repeated. 'Since I kissed you on your doorstep. Knew you were it.'

'Well… in that case I have to admit to one other errand that I ran today.' He went back over to the backpack and took something out of it that he held behind his back as he walked back over to Dean. 'I wanted to get this prepared so that when the right moment came along, I'd be ready. I should have known that we'd be on the same page about this as we have been with everything else.' With a deep breath, he dropped to one knee and held out an open ring box. 'This was my grandfather's. He and my grandmother had over sixty years of the happiest, most loving marriage I've ever seen. It's been resized to fit you, and if you will do me the honour of being my husband, I think we can give them a run for their money.'

'Cas,' Dean croaked as his eyes filled with tears. 'You fucking asshole. I've been planning a proposal for fucking  _ weeks _ .'

Cas smiled, his big, nose-crinkling, gummy smile. 'Is that a yes?'

'Of course it's a yes. But I still get to do mine when it's time.'

'I agree to your conditions,' Cas said impishly, and grabbed Dean's hand to slide the ring on. Dean pulled him up from the floor and kissed him.

'Can't believe you beat me to it. Son of a bitch.'

'Guess you shouldn't have spouted off about being willing to marry me right this second,' Cas teased. 'I wasn't planning on doing it tonight.'

Dean shrugged. 'Worth it. Plus now I know you'll say yes when it's my turn, so I don't have to make myself sick worrying about it.'

'Spoiler alert, I would have said yes anyway. I know Sam might think it's too soon, but I've known this is what I want for a long time.'

'Nah, Sam's been helping me plan the proposal.'

'One less thing to worry about, then.' They kissed again, soft little smooches interrupted by even softer smiles. 'I'm sorry I scared you before. But I'm proud of you for bringing it up openly and not freaking out right away.'

'You know me, Mr Personal Growth. Yay for therapy.'

'We probably wouldn't be here without it.'

'No kidding. I would never have had the guts to email you if Pamela hadn't encouraged it.'

'I didn't know that.'

Dean blushed. 'Oh, guess I never told you. It was originally an exercise to help me say all the stuff I needed to say to work through my past. One of those write the letters and burn them kinda things. But I just kinda kept writing letters to you. First all the apologies and dealing with what happened, but then just dumb stuff like telling you about my day. And Pamela said it sounded like I wanted to talk to you for real, get closure or whatever, and she asked what was the worst that could happen if I emailed you.'

'I'm sure your imagination was very creative.'

'It wasn't that bad,' Dean chuckled. 'I actually thought the worst thing would be that the email would bounce because you weren't using that address anymore and it would feel like I really lost you for good. I wasn't even that scared of you bitching me out or even ignoring me, because I deserved those.' Cas opened his mouth to protest, but Dean corrected, 'I mean I thought I deserved those as a punishment for what I did. But if it had bounced it would have felt like I never even had a chance to make it right. That probably doesn't make any sense.'

'It does make sense, I understand completely. Thank goodness I still use that address. The thought of having missed out on your message…' He shuddered, and Dean hugged him more tightly.

'So once I psyched myself up for it, I wrote the email and sent it. Then I cried like a bitch and had an extra therapy session to calm myself down. Must've checked my email fifty times a day until you wrote back.'

'I'm sorry it took me so long to reply. I really wasn't exaggerating when I said I'd started it a dozen times. I just couldn't believe it. I'd wake up in the middle of the night and reread the message because I thought I had dreamed it.'

'Oh sweetheart.'

'Thank you for doing it. Thank you for coming back to me.'

'Thanks for taking another chance on me.'

Cas kissed him again. 'Always.' More kisses were exchanged, and as might have been expected, they started to grow heated.

'So… we're engaged now,' Dean murmured in Cas's ear. 'How are we going to celebrate?'

'I just thought we'd sit here quietly,' Cas replied with a smirk. 'Why, did you have something else in mind?'

'I might have one or two ideas.'

'Do these ideas involve those new panties I know you bought but haven't shown me yet?'

'They do now. Race you upstairs!'

Dean got to the bedroom first, but they both won.


End file.
